Counting Down

Twelve days until D-Day. Delivery Day. Deliver David to College Day. And I don't feel like I'm coping very well. Bill says I've been micromanaging everything this summer and haven't let David do enough of the preparations. He's probably right. It's been easier to focus on the preparations, keeping busy with the minutiae, rather than dealing with the knowledge that life is going to change.

It is going to be a huge adjustment not having David around on a daily basis. Of our three children, David is the one most like me in disposition and attitude. I'm going to miss having that even keel, come-what-may-we-can-cope attitude around. Heck, I'm just going to miss having a live body here during the day. Even though Charles is still home, he spends so much time at karate that some days it's like he's not here at all.

It was a full year before I really adjusted to Kat's being gone when she moved out, but at least she did so with no warning. I didn't have time to obsess about it before hand. And the six months before she moved out she was gone a great deal of the time anyway, having a car and license. So I was more used to her absence. David has neither car nor license (although he is going to take his driver's test this week). This past year, especially, we've spent so much time together commuting to his college classes.

But I know David's ready to experience new things, ready for new challenges. I'm pretty sure that Evansville is going to be a good experience for him and he is excited about going. It's the anticipation, the waiting that is so hard for me to deal with. I always handle a fait accompli much better than the lead-up time to anything. There shouldn't be so much time between being accepted to college and actually going to college!