Joy

I recently read a topic on Amy's Live, Learn, Knit blog titled What Brings You Joy? In her post Amy mentioned a book she had read, Let Your Life Speak by Parker J. Palmer, which I have added to my "must read" list. During this past week's marathon NaNo writing, I found myself often distracted from my story and thinking about joy. I began to wonder what the difference was between joy and pleasure, since I could easily think of many things that brought pleasure to my world, but not so many things that seemed to bring joy. So today I looked up the words "pleasure" and "joy" online and found an explanation that suited me at Dictonary.com.

Pleasure, enjoyment, delight, joy refer to the feeling of being pleased and happy. Pleasure is the general term: to take pleasure in beautiful scenery. Enjoyment is a quiet sense of well-being and pleasurable satisfaction: enjoyment at sitting in the shade on a warm day. Delight is a high degree of pleasure, usually leading to active expression of it: delight at receiving a hoped-for letter. Joy is a feeling of delight so deep and so lasting that one radiates happiness and expresses it spontaneously: joy at unexpected good news.

So what does bring me joy?

My first thought was writing, but writing is not always joyful or even pleasurable. It can be difficult, painful and emotionally revealing, none of which brings me joy. Writing is something that I have to do, like breathing and eating. It is a rare day that I do not write something, whether a blog post, an email or a letter to a friend (sometimes those are even handwritten!). It does not matter to me whether anyone reads what I write or not. The possibility of an audience is not why I choose write.

Reading also comes to mind, but again, it is more of a need I have, like an addiction to caffeine or nicotine. A day is not complete if I have not had my daily fix of word input and output, reading and writing.

Crocheting gives me pleasure and satisfaction. I find it relaxing, soothing. But crocheting does not give me joy. The act of giving a crocheted item away, knowing that it will be used and appreciated by the recipient, that gives me joy. I never really understood why we needed to save an item that someone had made, pass it down from generation to generation, never to be used. To me, the value of the item is in knowing the person who created that item. If I did not personally know great-grandma Tilly, I am not going to value something made by her nearly as much as I am going to value something made by my Grammy. And so it brings me joy to know that items I have made and given to others are actually being used. That was the reason I made them in the first place!

Here is a picture of the baby afghan I made for my niece's new baby boy:

Knowing that Aiden's older brother loved his afghan and carried it around with him for several years gave me great joy. I hope Aiden enjoys his half as much.

Here is another thing that gives me joy:

Copper has taken to sleeping on laptops and computers. When it was ninety degrees and better outside, she preferred sleeping out on our balcony all day long. But when cooler temperatures came in September, she ceased wanting to go out on the balcony and now sleeps away the day on top of laptops or any other computer she can find that is running and warm. Anyway, just seeing a cat gives me pleasure, but having one (or more) of my own that I can interact with gives me joy.

Photography brings me joy. Amy mentioned photography and art in her post, too. Unlike Amy, I have never been interested in the darkroom and developing of pictures. What I love is the hunt for a good subject, the art of framing the subject and the sense of accomplishment I feel when I capture a moment in time. That gives me joy, knowing that I have saved some essence of "now" that can easily be recaptured in the future simply be looking at the picture.

My children, of course, bring me moments of joy. Their individual births were three such moments. Add to that my granddaughter, Miss Munchkin; I was lucky enough to be present at her birth and one of the very first to hold her. Miss Munchkin brings me joy almost every time I see her. There is just something about a toddler who is happy and curious and loving that is joyful, especially when she is related to you.

I feel joy when we hit the road for a road trip, whether it is just a day's jaunt somewhere or a vacation. There is something truly joyous about leaving behind the every day world for a bit and looking forward towards possible great adventures. And I feel joy every time I step onto a beach. Hearing the waves crashing onto shore and the cry of the gulls, feeling the heat of the sun through the sand on your bare feet, the smell of the salt spray, it all fills me with joy. Oh, and the skirl of bagpipes bring me joy. If ever I were to come across bagpipes being played on the beach while I was walking barefoot with my granddaughter, my heart would likely burst from experiencing too much joy all at once.

Amy's post talks a lot about finding joy in your work or rather work that you find joyful. I know this is the goal of many unschoolers, to find a way to turn their passion into a career. That is a great goal, although I know few that have been able to truly realize it. The only possible work-related thing that brings me joy is being able to find answers and resources for others. I love to research; I love to hunt for the perfect gift, for the perfect book, for that needed quote or just the right word that will complete a project. I think that is why I continue with my website, since HTML and web design certainly does not bring me joy. On the contrary, many days it fills me with stress and frustration. But I love to know that a resource I have reviewed or something I have written has provided an answer to someone's quest. That brings me joy.

So, what brings you joy?

American Sign Language

A couple of months ago we were discussing toddlers and temper tantrums on my Friday morning homeschool chat. One chatter mentioned that using the Signing Time series with her pre-speaking toddler had brought about good results in reducing temper tantrums. Since Miss Munchkin seemed to be just entering the temper tantrum stage, I sent away for the Baby Signing DVDs without even telling Kat about them! Was she ever surprised!

I just posted up an article telling about Miss Munchkin's experiences with sign language. It has been fun watching pure unschooling in action. When you have teens, you miss seeing the joy and excitement that little ones express when they learn something brand new.

Come on over and read American Sign Language (ASL) for Toddlers and Children.

Another Chat Success

About three weeks ago, maybe four, someone on chat mentioned that they had used the Signing Times program with their toddler with good success. At the time my daughter was experiencing some difficulties with Miss Munchkin's temper and I thought that might be due, in part, to Miss Munchkin's inability to make her needs known. So I checked out the Signing Time website and ordered the Baby Signing Time gift set and had it shipped to my daughter. It seems they are a big success! Check out Adventures With Miss Munchkin, July 15th post, for Kat & Miss Munchkin's experience with them.

And a big thank you to the chat member (sorry, I don’t remember who it was) who mentioned the Signing Times DVDs.

Digital Natives

Wow! Another great article at Life Without School

Unschooling and the Digital Native by Laureen

What is a Digital Native? From Laureen's essay:

The term digital native was coined by Marc Prensky, who explains it like this:

They are native speakers of technology, fluent in the digital language of computers, video games, and the Internet. I refer to those of us who were not born into the digital world as digital immigrants. We have adopted many aspects of the technology, but just like those who learn another language later in life, we retain an “accent” because we still have one foot in the past.

Laureen writes:

I've read through some of the literature on this phenomenon, and I'm convinced that it falls short, because it's being written by people who self-identify as professional educators. As an unschooler, I don't believe in educators, I believe in learners. My personal paradigm rests firmly on the assumption that children are self-starters, and that the information they absorb is the information most necessary to them in the environment they inhabit, so I'm exploring this digital native idea with that in mind.

Prensky states,

Today’s students have not just changed incrementally from those of the past, nor simply changed their slang, clothes, body adornments, or styles, as has happened between generations previously. A really big discontinuity has taken place. One might even call it a “singularity” – an event which changes things so fundamentally that there is absolutely no going back. This so-called “singularity” is the arrival and rapid dissemination of digital technology in the last decades of the 20th century.

Today’s students – K through college – represent the first generations to grow up with this new technology. They have spent their entire lives surrounded by and using computers, video games, digital music players, video cams, cell phones, and all the other toys and tools of the digital age. Today’s average college grads have spent less than 5,000 hours of their lives reading, but over 10,000 hours playing video games (not to mention 20,000 hours watching TV). Computer games, email, the Internet, cell phones and instant messaging are integral parts of their lives.

Her family sounds much like ours! Check out her essay and see what you think!

Nice Article at Life Without School

I just read a really good article at the Life Without School blog:

Unconditional Teaching, by Tammy Takahashi
How and why do we impart our knowledge on our children? Now, that’s an important question! I guess it depends on what we want for our children.

You can read it here:
Unconditional Teaching

I have the good fortune to be on a few lists with Tammy and always enjoy reading her work.

And The Beat Goes On … Unschooling Adult-Style

Unschooling is child-led, interest-led learning, or at least that is my quick and easy definition. Sounds pretty simple, doesn't it? But lately I have been thinking that my definition does not fit our situation anymore, since there are not very many children left in the house. It is difficult to have child-led learning without a child!

So I have been contemplating on what my current definition of unschooling should be, now that my children are adults. How does this sound? Unschooling is individual-led learning that occurs on an as-needed or as-desired basis. What? That isn't unschooling! Isn't that just life? Exactly. Which is why unschooling as a homeschool method held such appeal to me when I first heard of it. It was exactly the way we (my husband and I) already approached life. It was the example we were already setting for our children. It was the way every adult I knew operated. Why should the way our children learned be any different from the way all the adults around them learned?

I am often asked for examples of unschooling in action. It seems silly to tell others what we do, since unschooling is just living your life, whatever your life might be. My life is going to be different from yours. I can tell you about my typical unschooling day, but it really won't bear any resemblance to what your unschooling day will be like. But I would like to share a couple of examples of our adult lives and how we are learning as we go; not our children, but Bill and I, the parents in the family. Because I consider us unschoolers also, unschoolers for life, unschoolers of life.

To read the rest of this new LeapingFromTheBox.com article,
please visit Unschooling Adult-Style

Accompanying that article,
How to Conduct an Online Job Search

Technology, Love it or Hate it?

Charles got an iPod for his birthday Tuesday. He had an mp3 player already, but it was about wore out and he had requested something bigger and better for his birthday. Of course, bigger and better also means more complicated! Charles does not deal well with most computerized technology. He has a difficult time reading something and translating that into action. If he can see it done, he is fine. But he has inherited my technology-blindness, if you will. I have tried to help him, and we are finally making progress in understanding how to convert his existing songs into the proper format, but man, has it been a struggle. It's like learning a new language, reading some of the technical jargon. I'll read something to myself, then read it aloud to Charles, and the two of us try to decipher what I just read. But, like I said, we are finally making progress.

Now, if you were to show Charles a new karate form, he would get it right away. Or if you were to put him in charge of a class of karate students, he would have no problem with that. The class would continue calmly and smoothly. But show him something that needs tools to work on, like a car, or something with technological jargon and pop-up warnings, like a computer, and he is lost. He has had to learn to deal with more of that, though, this year with David away to college. No more can he just throw his arms up in defeat and cajole his brother into helping him.

And what is Charles doing now? While his iTunes is finally converting all the files the way he has been trying to get it to since late last night? He is out squirrel hunting. I am not sure if he took his blow gun or his bow. I do know the squirrels are not in any danger, though. The cats trailing after Charles will successfully warn away any squirrel silly enough to get within shooting range.

I Just Do Not Understand …

There are many things in our current culture that I do not understand.

• Rap and HipHop music (although upon closer listening, there are some similarities between rap and bluegrass)
• Chainsaw / gory / psychological thriller movies
• The fascination with certain "stars" who have done little to nothing to deserve that term
• Preschool

Now I realize that many parents have to work and they figure their children will be more prepared academically for kindergarten and be better socialized in a preschool setting than in a daycare setting. Doesn't that sound odd? "Be more prepared academically for kindergarten?" Not all that many years ago Kindergarten prepared you for first grade. You did not have to prepare FOR Kindergarten.

What I do not understand is why a parent who chooses to stay at home to raise their child should feel that child would be better off enrolled in a preschool. If you can read and interact with your child, then you can teach your child everything he/she will need to know. It really is not that difficult. Read to them a little bit every day. Talk to them like they are an intelligent human being, rather than your puppy dog. Well, maybe I should not say that because I have seen some people who talk to their dog on a higher vocabulary level than they do their children. Just don’t baby-talk all the time to your child. Involve your child in your every day activities. Let them help with the laundry, sweeping the floor, changing the baby's diapers, whatever your daily tasks may be. And talk to them while doing so. Explain what you are doing and why. Involve them. Interact with them. It might be fun!

As for socializing, children are much better socialized from being around adults, especially their own family members, and especially the first several years of their lives. Did our pioneers worry about their children's socialization? For that matter, did our grandparents have preschool? Did our parents? I certainly did not have preschool and I was more than ready for kindergarten when the time came. At what point did preschool become a standard practice? I guess I was bucking the trend when my children were that age, almost twenty years ago. Some days I sure am beginning to feel old!

Cheese and Stuff

Charles and I have been reading "On Food and Cooking, The Science and Lore of The Kitchen" by Harold McGee. Yesterday we finished the section on cheese. A painful section to read, as at the end of almost every paragraph Charles would groan and say, "I want cheese!"

So, I guess we are going to explore cheeses, if we can find some! The local Kroger's had nothing new and exciting to offer, other than a solid block of Parmesan, a solid (small) block of Mozzarella, and a French Gournay cheese. Gourney is a soft cheese, this particular one blended with garlic, salt, pepper, parsley and chives, so I'm not sure that Charles will care much for it, since he's not a big garlic fan. I will have to make the drive to the Publix in Decatur and see what they offer. We'd like to try a new cheese or two every week, maybe make some new dishes with them, and track which cheeses we like and which we don't. Sounds like a yummy study!

Gosh, it's cold and damp today. Where's our sixty-degree sunshine-filled October? October is supposed to be a dry month! This week has been anything but dry!

Wednesday I finished reading "Meriwether" by David Nevin and began reading "Dream West, which is the last of Nevin's "The American Story" series that I have yet to read. The whole series has been very interesting. I love reading about Jefferson and Madison and Burr and Lewis and Clark as real people, rather than historical figures. Nevin's books bring them to life, puts conversations and thoughts and feelings to them. And it has been doubly interesting reading about the early exploration and settlement of areas west of the Appalachians. With all our recent trips to Evansville, it's been cool to pass through areas that I had just read about and picture them as they were 200 years ago.

Well, time for some lunch, laundry, bill paying and then off to dancing tonight!

David update

It sounds like David has settled in well at Evansville. I called him last night and then passed the phone around so everyone (Bill, Charles, Kat) could talk to him. He told me about the robot he has in Computer Science class and a bit about the Japanese alphabet (or it's three alphabets). And also said I should see the movie "Accepted" because it was funny and had a very unschooling slant to it). He told his dad that everyone seems to gather in his room and he's not sure why. It did sound a little bit like there was more than one or two people in there! But definitely it sounds like he is having a good time and not terribly homesick.

We're still trying to decide whether we'll go up for Family Weekend later in September or combine visiting David with a possible trip to New York in October. I guess the first decision to be made is whether we're going to New York or maybe the decision to be made is who is going to New York. It's my aunt and uncle's 50th wedding anniversary celebration, so I definitely want to go!

Sunday my dad had a get together at his house and my brother Eric drove over from Atlanta with his family. Daniel spent Saturday night here playing X-Box with Charles and Shawn. I took lots of pics, so maybe later this week I'll get one posted up here of Eric with Miss Munchkin. She was frightened of Eric when she first saw him Saturday night, but my Sunday afternoon she was having great fun with his beard.

Oh, and it looks like my kittens have all found homes! I just need to decide if I want to keep one of them or not. We've been talking of possibly moving in the semi-near future and it is going to be difficult to find a place where I could have my six cats roam freely outside, let alone adding another one to that number. Do we really need to keep any?

Watching Miss Munchkin Learn

Just this week on the Unschooling List (my very favorite e-mail list!) we were talking about "how children learn" and whether one can teach a child how to learn. The example given was that there are a few curricula available that say they teach a child how to learn. So that was on my mind Wednesday when I visited Kat and was able to watch Miss Munchkin in the process of learning. Of course, to the adult it would look like she was just playing, but she was hard at hard learning how to navigate this new and wonderful world of hers. And doing a fine job of it too!

Miss Munchkin spends a lot of time in her walker right now. Her feet just hit the floor, but she loves sitting in it, being able to sit up and look around, have her toys on the tray where she can drop them and pick them back up again as she wants. Last week Kat told me that Miss Munchkin had not really figured out how she was getting from here to there in the walker. She would have this look of surprise when she'd go from point A to B like she didn't know what had happened. Wednesday, though, it was obvious she has figured out that she is the one propelling the walker. Kat had pulled out a box of baby cereal, with it's nice shiny crinkly plastic wrapper still on it, and was looking at the box. Miss Munchkin, across the kitchen in her walker, saw that box and in two seconds flat was across the floor, hands outstretched trying to reach the box! I am pretty sure she has not had any lessons on how to work the walker! And yet she managed to figure it out.

You can certainly teach someone a particular skill, such as how to compose a nice essay or how to play the flute. It'll cut down on their trial and error time, prevent the "reinventing the wheel" process. But you are not teaching them how to learn. They are using their hardwired learning skills to pick up the skill you are showing them. Even teaching them to think more logically or how to use certain study skills, like listening better or taking notes of key words in a lecture, is not teaching them to learn. If they didn't already know how to learn, they would not be able to listen to you, observe what you want, absorb the lesson and integrate it into their behavior.

It sure is fun watching a little one figure these things out!

Miss Munchkin crawling, almost too fast to get a good picture!

Miss Munchkin in her walker with her ever-present teething ring.